A small history of chess - AnarchyChess

(As Narrated by Optimus Prime)

In the beginning there were two pawns, one black, one white. They would move often, always one step at a time, but never capturing. This all changed when the white pawn moved two steps, the black pawn killed the white pawn, creating the first en passant.

The sheer energy created from en passant vaporized the two pawns instantly and the superheated matter spread out through the universe in what we call, The Beginning Passant. The Beginning Passant is named that because of the three types of en passant. The first and most normal type of en passant is the normal en passant, this chemical reaction when one pawn moves 2 spaces past another pawn creates a strange substance called Googlium. This substance causes mass hysteria and is generally advised not to be used. People exposed to Googlium tend to Shout "HOLY HELL" before convulsing in a fit of giggles. The second type of en passant is the Beginning Passant, this 'passant marked the beginning of chess and the universe as we know it. The third and final 'passant is the End Passant, this is the final passant, the one that marks the collapse of the universe and all that we know. It is said in the ancient scriptures of Sir John Chess, "Thay beginingith of the End Passant shall be put into motion when the board is ignites and the bishop goes on vacation."

Born from the depths of time, the game of chess emerged from humble origins, with rocks and a dirt floor as its humble stage. Our ancient civilization, armed with primitive ingenuity, crafted the initial chess pieces, shaping them into representations of animals and buildings, unknowingly planting the seeds of what would later blossom into the intricate and strategic chess we recognize today. With each move, the story of chess gained complexity, weaving a narrative that transcended time and space. Legendary figures emerged, but none commanded greater reverence than the enigmatic prodigy, Gary Chess. He, like an embodiment of chess itself, wielded the game as a tool of intellect and strategy. His battles on the chessboard became the tales of legends, captivating generations and inspiring minds to explore the boundless possibilities of this ancient pastime.

It is said that, upon Gary Chess's birth, he held a complete set of 32 chess pieces in his arms. This set, never before seen, was an invention of such magnitude that it shook the very foundations of the realm. Chess, as we now know it, was born. Gary Chess, the "Messiah of Chess," etched his name across the annals of history, resounding through taverns, battlefields, and hidden alleyways. However, his path was not devoid of conflict. As he grew older and stronger, he inevitably made enemies. Among them, a formidable rival emerged, bearing the name John Passant. The very introduction of the en passant rule, a controversial innovation, became the catalyst for a battle of the ages. In an epic clash, these chess titans faced off, the very essence of chess hanging in the balance, and in the end, it was Gary Chess who emerged as the victor.

Yet, the en passant rule, a rule steeped in contention, remained veiled in obscurity. It was a secret safeguarded with utmost care, shared only in hushed whispers and concealed in fear of retaliation. As time passed, the en passant rule took on an almost mythical quality, a cryptic facet of chess lore, a forgotten treasure buried within the sands of time.

In the midst of personal tribulations, Gary Chess embarked on a journey that would bring him to the remote African village of Anarchie de Échecs. Here, in this secluded community, he encountered chess pygmies who had devised unorthodox strategies and rules that breathed new life into the game. Their unconventional approaches and ingenious innovations opened up a new world of possibilities. In this remote village, the visionary prophet Danya foretold a great and terrible war, a battle not of arms, but of wits, destined to take place on the sacred chessboard. The village united as one, diligently preparing for the unique confrontation between their unorthodox strategies and the chess world beyond. Their dedication and veneration for the game knew no bounds, making them formidable contenders in the forthcoming chess conflict.

This is the tale of courage, unity, and the fusion of tradition and innovation. The battle of Anarchie de Échecs loomed on the horizon, promising to be a chapter in the ongoing saga of chess, echoing through the corridors of history. Their innovative approaches and unique style had marked them as "lesser players" in the eyes of the chess establishment. The chess pygmies of Anarchie de Échecs had never been recognized or embraced by FIDE or the broader chess community.

Despite the odds and the isolation they faced, the villagers remained unwavering in their dedication to the game they loved. Their battle against the outside world was not just about winning on the chessboard but about asserting their identity and worth as players. As they squared off against the world outside their secluded village, they hoped to prove that even "lesser players" could have a profound impact on the chess world. The stage was set for a unique and historic confrontation that would test not only their chess skills but also their resilience and determination in the face of adversity.